Time continues and events of life continue creating picture framed photos and home-made videos in our hearts and minds we look back and remember asking our current and past friends “Do you remember that time when…” laughing walking through memory lane.
Things that hurt you in the past become a chuckle because you think of how hilarious it is that you were once so dumb. Thinking now in this new time we got it all figured out just to look back to this day in our future thinking the same thoughts we once thought of the past and then we chuckle again.
All over again we think we got it figured out… repeat… making new moments… new laughs… new pain… and a new reason to heal. All the wiser you become because creating moments never go as planned but you learn and get better or with accepting the things you cannot change, we give ourselves permission to have one less moment of heartache.
So many moments but only one life and in this time reflecting on my moments which always end and began with looking into the night sky with stars and a full moon. With no other sounds other than crickets chirping. Air that feels so good and smells like alive and calm, allowing one tear to trickle onto my face because this moment is so good, but it is not a place I can stay forever. It is so good that it makes me think of the bad.
Why can’t I take this with me to every hard moment as a friend to comfort me because the peace in the darkness of night is a moment of light. Reminding me of night fishing on the ocean with the safety of others but the quietness of privacy.
Grilling on a small grill looking in the distance at every group around you pulling in fish while I enjoy just staring down at the ocean with relaxed eyes feeling connected to the sky with nowhere to pee trying to figure out while still drinking water knowing that somehow this is what life is about.
Falling asleep on the bridge waking up at 4am to the sky being the first thing I see. While fishermen continue fishing all through the night till morning seeming to need nothing as they focus. Around 9 am we all look for a cup of coffee which feels like a celebration of a new day.
Feeling the excitement of being on this bridge over the ocean mainly because it feels like camping but with comfort and discomfort of sleeping in cars and everyone expects you to have messy hair in the morning and clothes from the night before with no judgement just calm exciting vibes. Why do we make things so hard as human beings?
Always debating and stressing over small things. Our first thought is what is dirty when things are clean. With so much heartache, who can blame us when our trust is always dangling from torn string. So, we continue looking for and at times creating dust within. Trying to rig love when the answer is to blend.
Accepting differences and boundaries is the duo needed to tend to allowing every soul to vent. Moments to speak your thoughts aloud is embarrassing but the most freeing and worst feeling wrapped and tied but every time loosening the ropes from your feet a little more if only you choose to keep going forward.
Your first time falling, failing, crying, being denied is like a cave to finding the sunshine hidden inside designed specifically for your time to shine. It is the whiskey needed to say “fuck it, let me go get what’s mine.” In this moment your heartbeat becomes calm but your soul fierce.
Ready to pierce the impossible sincerely in mind and spirit already there while here. A moment of feeling no fear. Armed to conquer the freedom of believing, becomes the only Angel you can hear. When you finally adhere to the limp in your run and use it to reach gears only the one with the limp can steer.
It is a moment of breaking barriers when you are stripped down to only you and what your seeds can be. It is now or never. It is the time when we believe. The beginning of the moment of “I can achieve.”
