Throwing paint on our individual canvas using many colors like the rainbow wearing what was silenced out loud and when we are done we look at what can only be expressed as one name, one person’s pain, one person’s deranged, how one person sustained. Slowly started to see scratches matching my claims the same.
The strange thing is so many have chosen the same colors but never seeming able to reach one another. Sometimes we sit right next to each other yet still all alone we suffer. Knowing the reality of the canvas we were given is multi-dimensional therefore unreachable is a like-minded sister or brother. Though we all write on what we believe is our own individual canvas it becomes our only way of connecting to the people that were covered.
Relieved to know the ink I used has a daughter and a mother. All the time spent knowing the scratches of others were being bent or minced, I can finally read it clearly through the blend. The one line I see more clear than the rest is every moment has a shared pen. From feeling on top of the world to being down to your last cent. When we laugh, when we cry, we pick up our red pens and vent.
With the love never slowing for who is, who were, who will be, my soul connections I place where I depend on reliable intent. Learning to be okay with the moment I am in. Understanding that ‘right or wrong’ only matters to others when they too are pent. Those that use the things one could invent to lend soon finds themselves with no consent. You learn to focus on yourself when the weapons coming at you come from the same ones you defend.
I guess its called being human. No longer do I resent those who resent me ‘what I do’ is my soul’s fence. In my actions only, is the wrong ‘I do’ needing forgiveness when ‘I’ repent. Out of my control is the actions of women or men. Attempting to draw a picture of a moving object is mankind. At the verge where one line connects another line appears.
Now instead of trying to collect the details of the ocean, starting here, is where I select. Making sure that ‘I’ give respect. Many bickering’s would cease if every person made improving themselves their chosen prospect. When I am honest with myself about what humanity really is, it is simple prey and predator.
Everyone wears camouflage so we never know who is who. It does not matter how good or how strong you are. Everyone wants to appear as the prey with no one wanting to be the prey so the one who actually believes in fairness becomes prey even for the prey. The odd one out.
Deep inside everyone knowing when good intentions are real from a prison cell or a tortured life of hell the prey is expected to lead the way. From this game of who can present the best sounding perspective, I walk away. If I could advise the me who was naïve, I would say “make sure you know the details of the game before you play. Make sure you know that it is a game. Don’t try to save nobody who will take but won’t keep you safe.”
My favorite color used to be yellow maybe it still is. My favorite weather is a rainy day. I love movies that are examples of diamonds produced under pressure and the strength in being human. There is something about the shade and sun rays that is a refreshing grace. The embrace of the one I know, and love is loved like banana cakes. Maybe I don’t get everything or maybe not much at all, but the things I do, I appreciate. In the little things I find what’s great.
Being in touch with reality does not have to extinguish the happy place. Happy is as real rage. Love is as real as hate. Sometimes the moment is just another phase. When you think about it feelings come and stray. Life rides the waves teaching us how the water raves.
We complicate a complicated reality when we try to live through another’s fascination. Or even another’s agitation. Another as in not my own pulsation. That is why I accept that I cry because that’s reality, I smile because that’s reality. I fall, I get up, I dance, I can be lazy, or even crazy because that’s reality. I know what I need from me, because for me, I demonstrate what is real to me.
