Meliza
In a beautiful breezy beige gown, I finish hanging the last of the fabrics to dry. It is a beautiful day and the wind eases through my hair. I decide to lay a lounging blanket out on the grass. Then I sit down on the blanket with my legs crossed, of course sitting perfectly under the sun. Whilst the fabrics hanging near provide a sense of shade. I feel more calm than I have felt in a long time. Closing my eyes I hang my head back, allowing the light of the sun to pierce through the lids of my eyes. Making me feel like there is a whole other world in my head.
In the background of this peaceful moment, I can hear footsteps approaching. Opening my eyes just a little I can see that it is my father. “Heyy my sweet girl, it is a beautiful day today, isn’t it?” Yes, father it is. Something feels different about today. “Well in fact there is. We just had a visit from the King’s messengers and a letter.” When I hear my father say the words I have been waiting for my heart starts to beat a thousand times per minute. All I can think is how overjoyed I am that I never lost hope that the King would choose me.
With the joy springing throughout my entire being I ask my father of what matter is it to me? “Meliza I know you think I am not aware of your hopes and dreams, but I am. I have watched you prancing around searching for answers on who will be the Kings new bride. Which is why I wanted it to be so very much for you. We have received favor from the King, and I don’t want you to be upset hearing this news. Though I must tell you and I am unsure of the Kings reasons, but he has sent a request for your cousin Ariah to be his bride.”
Hearing my father say those words I can feel every bit of joy being sucked from my veins and being filled with disappointment and failure. How is it possible that I have done everything to be of desire to the King, but he chooses a woman not worthy to be his wife. She will never be able to hold the requirements of being wife of a King. This means everything that I have done so far, giving up my own needs to feel real. It was all for nothing. I just look up at my father after a long pause of ignoring him calling out to me and I say to him.
Father I am done. If Ariah has somehow gained the affection of the King as simple as she is. What am I doing with my life. Daily trying to please you and mom. Trying to be perfection at all times and this is my reward. “Meliza maybe King JoLe was not a good fit for you. I always tell you that, you are my bossy girl. You are meant to be a first wife. You will be sad for a moment but in time you will reach the true answer for why your life had to be different from the life you planned.” Father, if you don’t mind I would like to retreat to privacy.
Once I reached my living space that is shared with Ariah, I am most thankful that she isn’t here. I lay down and stare at the ceiling and tears just roll down my face one after another. After all this time I thought one day I would prove to her the reward of being without flaws. Instead, I have proven to myself to never base my hopes and dreams in the expectation that my efforts will be received.
All of this I did in order to marry the highest man in the village, and he has taken it all for granted. In the moment I feel a tug inside of me that says never again. Then I feel my spirit telling me to wipe your eyes and get up. In that moment I get up and go to look in the mirror. From this day forward looking into my eyes I knew that I was now a different person. A stronger person. A wiser person.
