For a bully, you are the most important person in the world. When you arrive, their day brightens, and when you leave, it saddens. Don’t be mistaken, it is not because they want to be friends with you. In all actuality, you help them to hide from the things they are afraid of in this world. When you are not there, they are forced to face the world, like we all do.
Though, for them they get through awkward moments or even embarrassing moments by shifting focus to you. They get through moments of not knowing what to do by shifting focus to you. You have become a shield of sorts for the moments they don’t know how to process. If you have ever been bullied by a large group – you sometimes think “well maybe they will feel better if seclude myself.”
What you would come to learn is what made them feel better was you being there. Having you there, shields insecurities of bullies. Whatever their personal flaws are, disappear amongst each other, but only if you are there. So, just know if they’re not targeting you, they will target someone else. It’s like processing emotions through means that are toxic – like drinking too much or whatever process does more harm than good.
Repeating History Again
I talk about this often but in the story Sodom and Gomorrah, one of the lost books tells details about how that town lived. Travelers that came through the town were almost always tortured. There was a homeless man that came through the town, and the citizens gave him gold. That sounds so nice, right? No. Well, he thought it was nice. As he tried to spend this gold to buy food every person in that town refused to sell him food. They wanted to watch him die.
There was a young woman, who couldn’t bare committing this type of evil so she would go down to the lake where he was and sneak him bread. As the days went on, the citizens of Sodom and Gomorrah were starting to wonder why he still looked strong and fed. So, one of them hid and waited and eventually saw the girl bring him bread.
You wouldn’t believe how awful these people were. Because she gave a man bread to eat, her friends and neighbors burned her alive. Her cries reached to heaven and soon came the fall of Sodom and Gomorrah. I believe their reaction to her helping the man was so strong because her humanity made it hard for them to lie to themselves about how evil their actions were.
There were many more instances, stories of even judges in Sodom and Gomorrah being in on this evil way of life. How does facing ourselves as humans become this hard to do, that we can become so corrupt? It seems hard to believe but, in many instances, your bullies – yes, your bullies, admire you. Why? Believe it or not, the Most High placed the spirit of a comforter in you, and there is a part of them that is soothed by it, but their insecurities make them hate you for it.
Your Strength Is Being Bold Enough To Be Decent
They can feel the genuine confidence you exude, and it is intoxicating and scary. That time when you were embarrassed, maybe you had a bad hair day or not the best outfit, but because it was your only option or you were caught off guard you strutted like a boss. They saw that, and secretly admired it. Maybe they planned to embarrass you and thought that you would run away but it wasn’t about them for you.
It was about your own determination to get that job, or whatever it was you set your sights on. Trust me, everyone saw your strength that day. While at times you did run away or fail or things just didn’t work out for you. You probably cried, prayed, or whatever you do when processing life not going your way. Me, I cry, and then become silent but the silence is not sadness it is my strength in that moment.
Though, through every obstacle you handled it in way that would of broke most. While they were waiting to see you break, you displayed strength. Even in your brokenness. It’s scary to some. Some would even consider it a threat. As much as the world tells us to be confident. In all actuality, confidence is seen as a threat. So, instead of building confidence the answer became destroying it.
Sometimes you knew that you were being mistreated all along, but you went through all the obstacle courses just to be sure. Then, you found out the reason they could never be pleased is because abusing you is their shield from having to deal with life. Bullies primary connection to their friends are not their favorite movies, it is a shared insecurity to hide their flaws from the world by focusing on a target.